This morning in Sunday school we were talking about people who accept Jesus as their savior and continue living without any noticeable change. It may be years before they spiritually grow. I was one of them. Why did it take so long to really seek a relationship with Jesus?
In my case, it was because I was hungry and thirsty for the wrong thing. I knew I was saved but I didn’t understand why God didn’t give me what would make me happy; approval and acceptance from people. I tried to live what I considered a godly life but I still held on to a feeling of worthlessness when it came to relationships.
Matthew 5:6 promised, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled.” I wasn’t blessed because I wasn’t feeding my spirit. I seldom missed a chance to eat or drink to satisfy my body but I was letting my spirit starve. The more I dug deep into God’s word, the more I wanted to know. My conversations with Jesus became longer. (Conversations, not just requests!) I longed to please God and gave up on pleasing man. Blessings were all around me.
Was I suddenly being blessed or were my eyes opened to God’s movements in my life when I stopped trying to please myself and looked to Him?
When those light-colored strands showed up in my dark blond hair, I turned to the bottle. (Hair dye, not alcohol!) I checked regularly for that distinct line of natural color showing at the roots and quickly covered it with a more flattering shade. Once I started this routine, I became addicted. I worried that I would look “old” with gray hair.
Once, I tried letting it grow out. Instead of a few strands, the gray hairs had multiplied to half my hair. I earned every one of those gray hairs but felt insecure about them and returned to the bottle. (again, Hair dye!)
When I found out I was going to be a grandmother, I decided it was time to give up the faux color. I expected the blond to now be all gray. To my surprise, when the dye was gone I was sporting a head of snow white hair with silver highlights. Was I ready for this?
In my past, I was anxious about my hair, my weight, how I dressed; basically everything. I Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I gave my fear of what people thought to my Lord and am now able to accept myself as God made me; even white hair. The freedom to be happy with my appearance has given me an unexpected joy.
Is there something that you worry about? How can you free yourself from it?