Tag Archives: self esteem

Get Rid of the Bitterness

Last week I talked about how The Lord’s Prayer showed me that God answers our needs day to day. It is not for us to worry about tomorrow. I applied that lesson to stop worrying about our property payments. Well, sort of. I stopped calculating how God could solve our problem and began anticipating that He would answer right away; since I wasn’t anxious any longer.
Meanwhile, when praying with my prayer group one of them said I was bitter. I knew it was true. I was angry about the time and money the farm took. If I trusted God with excitement when we bought the farm, why was I bitter now? Did God change? No, it was I who gave up. I prayed that the spirit of bitterness would be removed. I apologized to my family for my attitude.
Eventually, the excitement in truly trusting God returned.
Six months later, I randomly met someone who said he knew the owner of the second largest Christmas tree operation in the Northwest. He asked if I wanted him to tell the owner about our farm. Of course I did, expecting he would mention it the next time they met, if he remembered. To my surprise, the owner called me within an hour. He looked at the trees and made an offer to purchase 3/4th of them. His last payment would be paid at the time our property loan was due and would be more than enough to cover it.
God does answer our prayers but sometimes we get in the way of the blessing because of our attitude.

Are you expecting God to answer your prayer or are you trusting Him to take care of your problems?


I like watching college football. Actually, I like any football, especially the highlights on the sports news. At one time I didn’t enjoy the game because “my” team always lost. Of course, that was not true but I felt like one loss equaled being a loser.
I would mope and sigh that “my” team lost simply because I was rooting for them. Wow, can you imagine the power that gave me to control the game! What an arrogant thought! In reality I had no vested interest in the outcome of the game. But through my low self-esteem I saw every disappoint I faced as a sign of me being a loser.
I had no control in a football game I was watching but I did have control in how I looked at life. I didn’t pick the winning team; I didn’t have the nicest car or the prettiest clothes. So what? “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” (Psalm 18:32) I was choosing self-pity to reinforce my lack of self-esteem. God gives me what I need; love, comfort and mercy, to name a few. What the world gives is shallow and temporary.
When I began changing my priorities, I started building my self-esteem. Who I am became more important than ball games or possessions. How I treat people reflects my true self more than how I am treated by others, or how my favorite team does.
Now, I can enjoy football even when my team loses by three points in the final 15 seconds.

Have you ever given yourself too much power by believing something was done or said simply because of you?